21 years young & a writer & enthusiast of all aspects of life. One day I finally grasped that unexpected things were always going to happen in life. And with this I realized the only control I have is how I choose to handle them. So, I made the decision to survive using courage, humor, and grace. I found such things in Music , quotes and blogs and obviously the obvious like food and friends as well.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you simply , without problems or pride : I love you in this way because Ii do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand , so intimate that when i fall asleep your eyes close.
– 100 Love Sonnets
Missing some one sucks. I Could list 10 things i miss and it is only day 1 since he has been gone.
I miss random face time’s even i i know its just because your bored on the toilet or your doing a crazy dance and want me to laugh at it,
I miss having a gym buddy…. who i can secretly watch but pretend not to be. and taking pictures of your muscles and getting caught.
I miss you cooking my dinner and it always having bacon in it no matter what it is even lasagne or having chicken for tea every night.
I miss playing rock, paper scissors for who does the tea making or putting “your” washing out.
I miss cuddling on the sofa together and you licking my face or just being your annoying self
I miss fighting over who Ringo (our bumble bee teddy) loves the most and wants to live with.
I miss our little play fights or your little pretend headbutt thing even if i always loose and end up with bruised legs.
I miss bed time spoons and that each and everyday before we sleep you make me love you a tiny bit more.
I miss been forced to watch pawn stars even though now your not here i still find myself watching it because i know you would be.
Ii miss your singing even though i tell you i hate it and you cant sing and you hurt my ears,
We often find in life , that the little things about people are the parts of them we miss the most. We pretend to hate things because we subconsciously love them far more then we are supposed to. A persons Habits aren’t always bad, sometimes they make up the best parts of someones character. So think of a habit you love about someone that you shouldn’t and i bet it will make you smile however gross or annoying it is.
Its been a hard days night barely an sleep and a change of heart i less that 24 hours, What the hell is wrong with me?!!!
7 pm not long in from work. Today i came across this picture it instantly put a huge smile on my face! How can i have said all those things last night when someone can make you smile just looking at a picture. But then again he does make me so angry and sad at times…. Vicious circle right?
So he woke me up at 1am , 4am, and 6 am telling me all about his travels and to be honest i can’t really complain when my last rant yesterday was about not gearing from him. He’s put my mind at rest he arrived safe and sound and i guess that the fact he has text me first thing means i was in his thoughts ❤
Today has been a happy day , my mind isn’t in overdrive and the weather is beautiful. what more can i ask for other than to not have had to work. Hope everyone else has had a fabulous day.
B’s quote of the day –
There’s no point in consistently worrying about everything. What will happen will happen regardless. So breathe, look on the bright side, have some laughs, fall in love, accept what you can’t change, and carry on. To actually live is courageous.
Today…. well well well. I don’t even know where to begin.
I wish the existence of emotions did not exist, or i wish i could be a Tin man like the one from the wizard of Oz .Basically i just want to loose the ability to feel at all. Nothing i would like more right now than to be emotionally dead inside.
The guy i am absolutely head over heels for leaves the UK in 4 hours for ten days. I know it seems such short amount of time but when you spend everyday with someone just about and everything and nothing is done together i feel i am loosing literally my right arm. However , today has been such a massive realization with him not being able to speak or see him for 10 days, i’ve tried my very best to talk to him today, made a huge effort and he just doesn’t seem remotely interested. I feel like im being ignored and pushed under the rug. I can’t stand this no more, I’m tired of being second best to everything in his life. Quite frankly im emotionally drained and just TIRED. On the other hand though I’m emotionally attached/ addicted or as many refer to it as been “IN LOVE”.
I really do not want to feel like this for a second longer . I know i can’t just snap my fingers , nor can someone out there wave a magic and and make it all go away but i just need to get this guy out of my life and find someone who deserves me and my attention. I do deserve so much better than how i am treated , it may have taken me 9 months or so to realise this but i do. I mean i’m sat here in tears because i don’t know what i have done to be ignored , i shouldn’t be like this and most significantly he shouldn’t put me through this…
carpe Diem – seize the day/moment – that i feel i need to do. him being out of the country is my perfect opportunity to start the removal process. I was always taught never settle for someone simply because your scared you wont find someone else or your scared of been alone. Today i am fighting my fears . Its time to let go…..
Step 1 : Take down the photo’s and reminders.
Step 2 : Block on social networking sites
Step 3 : Block mobile number
Step 4 : HOW DO I START THE MENTAL PROCESS OF REMOVAL?
Peace and love and hoping for help and advice!
Listening to : “Your gonna loose that girl” – Beatles