I don’t want to be Anything other than what I’ve been trying to be lately

23rd July.

Fact : One tree hill….. helped me grow up and be the person i am today.

 

Not a lot to say today heads a shed excuse the expression….but i can express my feelings with a few quotes.

I hope your all healthy and well and most of all if you cant be that i hope your HAPPY. 

Peace and Love always,

B.

B’s Quotes for today:

1. You ever heard the expression ‘The best things in live are free.’ Well that expression is true.’ Every once in a while, people step up they rise above themselves sometimes they surprise you and sometimes they fall short. Life is funny sometimes. It can push pretty hard but if you look close enough, you can find hope in the words of children, in the bars of the song and in the eyes of someone you love. And if you’re lucky, if you’re the luckiest person on this entire planet, the person you love decides to love you back…

 

2. We all want to be loved…to be happy. So why aren’t we? Because we’ve become experts at sabotaging our own happiness. Feeling like victims, when in fact it’s the choices we make, the bad habits, the vices, the inability to show love and compassion. These are the things that tear us down. We’re not victims. We’re assassins when it comes to love and happiness.

 

3. I wanted you to fight for me! I wanted you to say there is no one else that you could ever be with and that you would rather be alone than without me.

 

4. Someone once said that death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live

 

5. There’s not shame in being afraid. Hell, we’re all afraid. What you’ve got to do is figure out what you’re afraid of. Because when you put a face on it, you can beat it or better yet, use it.

 

6. And when you find yourself in the darkness and despair, remember it’s only in the black of night when you see the stars.

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7. Obviously there are things I regret. Things I’d like to take back. Things I would change if I could. But we all have to live with the residue of our choices. And the consequence of our actions

 

8. Passion unattended is a flame that burns to its own destruction.

 

9. The best thing about a paper jam, it forces you to open up the machine, figure out what went wrong in the first place

and finally.

Number 10 : Whether it fades out or crashes away, every song ends. Is that any reason not to enjoy the music? 

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Here comes the sun….

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Ello ello ello! So today the weather has been nothing but glorious! The sun has appeared here in York and I thought I would take advantage of this with a “Selfie”. My day today has been pretty jam packed , I woke up bright and early despite my lack of sleep yet again, (I definitely think im restless knowing Lew is out of the country hopefully the sober 5am’s won’t last forever ) , and went to the gym to work and then out for dinner and a business meeting with the Ladies.

I think im starting to see some progress with the gym, I lost a lot of weight very fast but then soon found I had hit a barrier, I could work so hard for so long and not budge a pound, but then again nor can I gain one even after a week full of dominoes but slowly but surely I have persevered and i believe im starting to tone up which is always a positive. Yay!

Bad side of today —– Lew tried to face time me from Greece the Wi-Fi signal was rubbish and i couldn’t see him, and then when he did have good Wi-Fi I missed that to as it was whilst i was at work. Not cool, not cool at all. Hasn’t stopped my brain thinking the worst of him over there but hey it was nice to send a few chats and see a few pictures he sent across.

B’s quote of the day – “Too often, the thing you want most is the one thing you can’t have. Desire leaves us heartbroken. It wears us out. Desire can wreck your life. But as tough as wanting something can be, the people who suffer the most are those who don’t know what they want.”

Listening to you rock my world – Michael Jackson

Peace and Love

Goodnight beautiful bloggers

B x

Help me if you can I’m feeling down.

Today…. well well well. I don’t even know where to begin.

I wish the existence of emotions did not exist, or i wish i could be a Tin man like the one from the wizard of Oz .Basically i just want to loose the ability to feel at all. Nothing i would like more right now than to be emotionally dead inside.

The guy i am absolutely head over heels for leaves the UK in 4 hours for ten days. I know it seems such  short amount of time but when you spend everyday with someone just about and everything and nothing is done together i feel i am loosing literally my right arm. However , today has been such a massive realization with him not being able to speak or see him for 10 days,  i’ve tried my very best to talk to him today, made a huge effort and he just doesn’t seem remotely interested. I feel like im being ignored and pushed under the rug. I can’t stand this no more, I’m tired of being second best to everything in his life. Quite frankly im emotionally drained and just TIRED. On the other hand though I’m emotionally attached/ addicted or as many refer to it as been “IN LOVE”.

I really do not want to feel like this for a second longer . I know i can’t just snap my fingers , nor can someone out there wave a magic and and make it all go away but i just need to get this guy out of my life and find someone who deserves me and my attention. I do deserve so much better than how i am treated , it may have taken me 9 months or so to realise this but i do. I mean i’m sat here in tears because i don’t know what i have done to be ignored , i shouldn’t be like this and most significantly he shouldn’t put me through this…

carpe Diem – seize the day/moment – that i feel i need to do. him being out of the country is my perfect opportunity to start the removal process. I was always taught never settle for someone simply because your scared you wont find someone else or your scared of been alone. Today i am fighting my fears . Its time to let go…..

Step 1 : Take down the photo’s and reminders.

Step 2 : Block on social networking sites

Step 3 : Block mobile number

Step 4 : HOW DO I START THE MENTAL PROCESS OF REMOVAL?

Peace and love and hoping for help and advice!

B x

Listening to : “Your gonna loose that girl” – Beatles