21 years young & a writer & enthusiast of all aspects of life. One day I finally grasped that unexpected things were always going to happen in life. And with this I realized the only control I have is how I choose to handle them. So, I made the decision to survive using courage, humor, and grace. I found such things in Music , quotes and blogs and obviously the obvious like food and friends as well.
Huge apologies because I haven’t blogged in a while. I have been so so busy with work and I went on vacation to the Lake District and climbed the biggest mountain in England – Scar fell Pike. It was challenging but amazing such an experience and im so glad I did it. Definitely planning to climb the other 2 in the three peak challenge so roll on Ben Nevis and Snowdon.
Ill Add some pictures to this post, even if I do look like a soggy sweaty sponge! Ha-ha! Feeling so positive at the moment couldn’t be happier and in love with Lewis I know I had a bit of a negative spell but I just feel been away he has had an epiphany. He is so open with me and in touch with his feelings now. I really think rather than ending things we have a really prospective happy future ahead of us and it involves us been together.
It’s so strange isn’t it how the things which we think are going to break us, can be the thing that makes us. I could never imagine my self been in this position a week ago. Tomorrow cannot come quick enough for me so I can be back in his arms and having a massive chat about our future and getting everything just out and in the open and moving on and working from there.
B’s daily advice: If you love something let it go, if it comes back to you it is truly meant to be because if you love something or someone and that someone loves you too you will find your way back to each other. It may take a few tears and a few bad days but everything gets worse so it can get better. Great things happen over time nothing fantastic has ever happened over night if it’s meant to last – Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither was a future. So sit tight, don’t be afraid to speak how you feel, a problem shared is a problem halved and don’t give up on the people you love. Fight for them if that’s what it takes because I’m telling you if it’s real love in the end it will be worth it. If it lasts its fantastic and so what if it doesn’t. You have enjoyed that time and therefore it hasn’t been wasted.
Be happy, love immensely, be yourself – everyone else is already taken.
Fact : One tree hill….. helped me grow up and be the person i am today.
Not a lot to say today heads a shed excuse the expression….but i can express my feelings with a few quotes.
I hope your all healthy and well and most of all if you cant be that i hope your HAPPY.
Peace and Love always,
B’s Quotes for today:
1. You ever heard the expression ‘The best things in live are free.’ Well that expression is true.’ Every once in a while, people step up they rise above themselves sometimes they surprise you and sometimes they fall short. Life is funny sometimes. It can push pretty hard but if you look close enough, you can find hope in the words of children, in the bars of the song and in the eyes of someone you love. And if you’re lucky, if you’re the luckiest person on this entire planet, the person you love decides to love you back…
2. We all want to be loved…to be happy. So why aren’t we? Because we’ve become experts at sabotaging our own happiness. Feeling like victims, when in fact it’s the choices we make, the bad habits, the vices, the inability to show love and compassion. These are the things that tear us down. We’re not victims. We’re assassins when it comes to love and happiness.
3. I wanted you to fight for me! I wanted you to say there is no one else that you could ever be with and that you would rather be alone than without me.
4. Someone once said that death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live
5. There’s not shame in being afraid. Hell, we’re all afraid. What you’ve got to do is figure out what you’re afraid of. Because when you put a face on it, you can beat it or better yet, use it.
6. And when you find yourself in the darkness and despair, remember it’s only in the black of night when you see the stars.
7. Obviously there are things I regret. Things I’d like to take back. Things I would change if I could. But we all have to live with the residue of our choices. And the consequence of our actions
8. Passion unattended is a flame that burns to its own destruction.
9. The best thing about a paper jam, it forces you to open up the machine, figure out what went wrong in the first place
Number 10 : Whether it fades out or crashes away, every song ends. Is that any reason not to enjoy the music?
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you simply , without problems or pride : I love you in this way because Ii do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand , so intimate that when i fall asleep your eyes close.
– 100 Love Sonnets
Missing some one sucks. I Could list 10 things i miss and it is only day 1 since he has been gone.
I miss random face time’s even i i know its just because your bored on the toilet or your doing a crazy dance and want me to laugh at it,
I miss having a gym buddy…. who i can secretly watch but pretend not to be. and taking pictures of your muscles and getting caught.
I miss you cooking my dinner and it always having bacon in it no matter what it is even lasagne or having chicken for tea every night.
I miss playing rock, paper scissors for who does the tea making or putting “your” washing out.
I miss cuddling on the sofa together and you licking my face or just being your annoying self
I miss fighting over who Ringo (our bumble bee teddy) loves the most and wants to live with.
I miss our little play fights or your little pretend headbutt thing even if i always loose and end up with bruised legs.
I miss bed time spoons and that each and everyday before we sleep you make me love you a tiny bit more.
I miss been forced to watch pawn stars even though now your not here i still find myself watching it because i know you would be.
Ii miss your singing even though i tell you i hate it and you cant sing and you hurt my ears,
We often find in life , that the little things about people are the parts of them we miss the most. We pretend to hate things because we subconsciously love them far more then we are supposed to. A persons Habits aren’t always bad, sometimes they make up the best parts of someones character. So think of a habit you love about someone that you shouldn’t and i bet it will make you smile however gross or annoying it is.
Its been a hard days night barely an sleep and a change of heart i less that 24 hours, What the hell is wrong with me?!!!
7 pm not long in from work. Today i came across this picture it instantly put a huge smile on my face! How can i have said all those things last night when someone can make you smile just looking at a picture. But then again he does make me so angry and sad at times…. Vicious circle right?
So he woke me up at 1am , 4am, and 6 am telling me all about his travels and to be honest i can’t really complain when my last rant yesterday was about not gearing from him. He’s put my mind at rest he arrived safe and sound and i guess that the fact he has text me first thing means i was in his thoughts ❤
Today has been a happy day , my mind isn’t in overdrive and the weather is beautiful. what more can i ask for other than to not have had to work. Hope everyone else has had a fabulous day.
B’s quote of the day –
There’s no point in consistently worrying about everything. What will happen will happen regardless. So breathe, look on the bright side, have some laughs, fall in love, accept what you can’t change, and carry on. To actually live is courageous.
Today…. well well well. I don’t even know where to begin.
I wish the existence of emotions did not exist, or i wish i could be a Tin man like the one from the wizard of Oz .Basically i just want to loose the ability to feel at all. Nothing i would like more right now than to be emotionally dead inside.
The guy i am absolutely head over heels for leaves the UK in 4 hours for ten days. I know it seems such short amount of time but when you spend everyday with someone just about and everything and nothing is done together i feel i am loosing literally my right arm. However , today has been such a massive realization with him not being able to speak or see him for 10 days, i’ve tried my very best to talk to him today, made a huge effort and he just doesn’t seem remotely interested. I feel like im being ignored and pushed under the rug. I can’t stand this no more, I’m tired of being second best to everything in his life. Quite frankly im emotionally drained and just TIRED. On the other hand though I’m emotionally attached/ addicted or as many refer to it as been “IN LOVE”.
I really do not want to feel like this for a second longer . I know i can’t just snap my fingers , nor can someone out there wave a magic and and make it all go away but i just need to get this guy out of my life and find someone who deserves me and my attention. I do deserve so much better than how i am treated , it may have taken me 9 months or so to realise this but i do. I mean i’m sat here in tears because i don’t know what i have done to be ignored , i shouldn’t be like this and most significantly he shouldn’t put me through this…
carpe Diem – seize the day/moment – that i feel i need to do. him being out of the country is my perfect opportunity to start the removal process. I was always taught never settle for someone simply because your scared you wont find someone else or your scared of been alone. Today i am fighting my fears . Its time to let go…..
Step 1 : Take down the photo’s and reminders.
Step 2 : Block on social networking sites
Step 3 : Block mobile number
Step 4 : HOW DO I START THE MENTAL PROCESS OF REMOVAL?
Peace and love and hoping for help and advice!
Listening to : “Your gonna loose that girl” – Beatles